This week I pulled out an old manuscript I wrote many years ago and decided it was time to dust it off and publish it. I did it with an odd sense of vulnerability. In much the same way I found publishing The Way Home made me feel vulnerable about my cancer experiences, Caught in a Dream makes me feel vulnerable about my belief systems.
When you announce to the world that you believe the world is an illusion, then you set yourself up for strange looks and people taking a subtle step away from you. But maybe its time I stopped worrying about that.
Maybe I've got to the point where getting the content of this novel out there is worth more to me than any discomfort I experience owning it does . Not that there's anything ground-breaking in this novel. It's all been said before by better minds than mine. But I like to think that maybe there is something in my presentation of the material that might make someone think a little differently after they've read it.
For me, the little glimpses into the illusion are like reminders that this world I perceive with my senses is only one reality. If I get caught up in it, I let go of my power to influence that world in a way that benefits me. I become a victim. When I allow myself to play with reality, by say, altering the weather, I'm not suggesting I'm a super hero or a magician, I'm simply reminding myself that we are all more able to affect our experiences than we realise. The more I do it, the more I step out of the drama.
I thought I might publish this book under a pen name as my romance readers might get disappointed when it lacks the hot love scenes that are my usual content. Sure this is a love story, but it is strictly PG. Largely because the hero is a eunuch and an old man for a good proportion of the book (LOL).
But I decided that I wanted this material 'owned' by me. I need to step up and stop apologising for holding New Age beliefs. So many of us still do that.
So if you're reading this, and are curious about this new old book,( you can find it here: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00D9SNML4 ) be warned, it isn't my usual material. But I think it is important and I believe I've done a good job presenting it. But only my readers can tell me if I'm right.